New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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