All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
