tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize