I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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