What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just had sex on a roof
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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