My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
