so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
