we're blogging at a bar
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
