Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
