Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
