90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize