My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize