Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
