There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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