She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I need moral support for this bender
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
