Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
