My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
