What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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