Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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