Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
