I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
