I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize