I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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