Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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