You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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