we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
bring money and cleavage
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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