You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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