dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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