any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize