I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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