So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
