I'm jealous of your bromance
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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