operation harelip BJ is a go
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
