she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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