you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
