Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
