ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
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