I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My vagina just clenched in fear
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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