mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
