He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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