wat bout pragnant strippers??
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
