everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
