dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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