Fine. I'll sleep in my office
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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