remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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