So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
