TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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