Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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