He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
