my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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