i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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