Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
