Need sex. Gaining weight.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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