I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
