Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize