Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
