ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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